words your iPhone doesn’t “know”

words your iPhone doesn’t “know”

Guys, y’all know how I feel about swear words and bad language… but obviously I understand why the iPhone doesn’t have the eff-bomb programmed into its autocorrect.

This article, on the other hand, is a little nuts.


when casual becomes sloppy: a rant

To be fair to us all, let’s open with this disclaimer: this rant is going to be about as unstructured as they come… unplanned aside from the fact that this rage has been welling up in me for a while.  On the other hand, I suppose that’s why I’m calling this a rant and not an essay or a post or a rumination or something else, in which case my initial sentence was both unnecessary and redundant.  Rats!

At various points in my life, I have been asked to write on behalf of other people and I constantly come up against the criticism that my writing is “too formal” and that I should be more “casual,” or “familiar,” or “friendly” in what I write.  And, sure, when I’m writing for a professional or academic audience, I sometimes can’t quite control how elevated my register becomes.  I blog and allow myself occasionally to have unbridled ranting sessions precisely so that I don’t forget what it’s like to just write in my own voice as the sentences form in my brain… more or less (I did just go back and insert/excise a few words from this sentence tee hee).  I appreciate when people call me out for writing in a way that seems artificial because above all I want my writing to be authentic, but not at the cost of style.

Here’s my problem.  When people edit my work to be “less formal” that often means less correct or less precise.  I don’t want to alienate readers by using unnecessarily elevated vocabulary or opaque syntax (that’s not good writing, anyway), but I don’t want to forgo incisive language just because “make” seems more casual than “establish.”  Maybe that’s not the best example.  One of the first style rules I ever learned was about revision: if you can find a way to say it in fewer words or fewer syllables, do it!  Don’t waste time with clunky, pedantic language just to make yourself sound smarter; DO take the time to write with force and precision.  Sometimes that means using more specific, slightly less run-of-the-mill words.

I realize now that I’m running the risk of sounding elitist or self-aggrandizing.  I don’t think writing should be exclusive, and I know I’m not the best writer there ever was, but words are what I have.  They’re the tools I feel most comfortable working with, so I struggle when people are willing to sacrifice clarity for the sake of sounding off-the-cuff.  I’m really not talking about a literary vocabulary, here; I’m talking about understanding the rules of written English and using them to write clearly (or as clearly as a person can when they like parentheses and asides as much as I do).  Knowing how to write doesn’t make me (or you!) a more articulate or intelligent person than the next guy, it just means that you’ve got a knack for structure (and also were probably lucky enough to have an awesome English teacher at some point).  Spoken and written language aren’t the same; they follow different rules, so “speak-writing” can often lead to ambiguous communication.  Gestures, intonation, and suggestive trailing off disappear, and we need to replace them with syntax, diction, and punctuation.

Welp, now that I’m pretty sure that I have definitively established myself as a huge asshole, I’ll just get to what I think I’ve been trying to say… or what I want to say… or something.  Clear writing levels the playing field; in an ideal world, writing that exists in any generally accessible forum makes its content comprehensible to a broad reading public without “dumbing it down.”  Words and sentences can be precise without being academic or exclusive; they can be comprehensible without being simplified.  Heck, oversimplification can often breed sentences so vague that they might as well be written in academese.  Without context, the sentence “It is over there” probably means as little to you as Lacan’s assertion that “The fact is that the total form of the body by which the subject anticipates in a mirage the maturation of his power is given to him only as Gestalt, that is to say in an exteriority in which this form is certainly more constituent than constituted, but in which it appears to him above all in a contrasting size (un relief de stature) that fixes it and in a symmetry that inverts it, in contrast with the turbulent movements that the subject feels are animating him.”

Good writing enables learning, and I guess I don’t really need to prove that, but sometimes I feel like I do.  And it is almost definitely incredibly pretentious to say that I know what good writing is (look at all them adverbz!), but we all know what it is, because we can all tell when writing is easy to understand and when it’s not.

So there.  I’m really over the “too formal” criticism because it implies that there’s no place for careful writing anymore.  But there is.  Because there has to be.  And we take it for granted.

Not Dead Yet

Dear all,

None of you read this anymore, but some of you will end up here, anyway, since these posts automatically share to my Twitter feed and it’s almost 1:00am and you’re still on the internet and what else have you got to do at this hour anyway? (Don’t answer that.)  I have, to put it mildly, been remiss in my posting duties, and I’d like to say that ALL OF THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE, but let’s be honest, here.  I’m just one person, and there are only 24 hours in a day, and now I have a subscription to Netflix.  I also have a full-time job, and weekly editorial commitments to CASE Magazine (like, follow, subscribe… please!).

ON THE OTHER HAND, I miss writing, and I miss writing here, and while CASE is on summer vacation, I thought I’d take the opportunity to pick this up again (and try to stick with it this time).  I feel like, with all the more formal writing I’ve been doing lately, I’ve lost touch with my sassy 20somethingbloggergross internet voice.  AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

Things will have to change, though.  For one thing, I’m not going to commit to more than one post a month for the time being.  I’d rather make a promise I can keep, and then maybe exceed it, than try to force myself to do something I know I won’t have time for.  I’m also planning on writing more casually from now on (if you couldn’t tell).  I don’t plan on turning this space into a diary exactly – language will still be a general guiding theme/topic – but I don’t want to get too worked up over structure (ha!).  I do enough of that in other parts of my life, now.

I’ll write a little something for you.  You can write a little something back.  IT’LL BE AWESOME.

For more frequent, more random updates, you can check out the tumblr I created as a space for idea vomit, and sure, follow me on Twitter.

Get ready, cuz there’s a big rant coming your way.  I’M BACK!

recommended reading of 2012

Looking back at my 2012 posting track record, I realize that I shared a lot of articles.  In fact, I shared other people’s writing so frequently that I ended up creating a new category to include all of my article posts (see sidebar).  As I continue to reflect on how best to move forward with this blogging project (or, if you’ll forgive the blend word, bloject), I think I’m still well within the appropriate window to share a year-end list for your perusal in the meantime.

Here is a list of language-related stuff I read in (mostly late-) 2012 that I think you should also read:

  • Shameless self-promotion first, this feature on CASE about facebook is an important read because: “Our experiences hold some kind of significance or meaning that should not be reduced to the system of rational exchange that equivalence engenders, and that built the current Facebook. We do not live and grow to compete against our friends in a perpetual, unsatisfying game of one-upsmanship.”
  • Utopian for Beginners” in one of the last New Yorker issues of 2012.  What does it mean for a language to be “perfect” and why does the quest for perfection always leave so much room usurpation?
  • Talking Hands by Margalit Fox is not a work of sociolinguistics or anthropology; it’s a story about language and a narrative about grammar… and also a reminder that sign language is a language, not an alternative.
  • This article about the flooding happening in Britain at the end of November is worth reading for the understated tone.  I have just started work on an adaptation of a translation from British English to American English… and I think this is why: “Conditions were described by locals as ‘pretty shocking.'”
  • Style Lessons in Clarity and Grace which I received for Christmas and have yet to examine with much depth.  It was time for this girl to upgrade to a new style guide and this is, apparently, the best.

2012 in review

A Preface: I would like to thank those occasional readers who took the time to check back every now and then since November 28th.  I would like to thank my global readers, as well; it’s been gratifying to feel like I really have been reaching a world beyond myself with these occasional posts.  2012 was a good year for feeling inspired, although the end-of-year hiatus might suggest otherwise.  I swear I’ve been doing exciting work.  This year, la-la-language will back with a more manageable posting schedule in the works and a few other tricks up its sleeves, as well.  Details to come, but in the meantime, a look back…

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,100 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

today’s contribution to society

I have a new article up on CASE today… and I’ve also realized that with the new schedule I’m on right now, I’m going to have to rethink my regular update day on la-la-language.  Decisions to come.

Here is the beginning of my CASE article, Do Not Call:

I just added my cell phone number to the Do-Not-Call List as a precaution.  Campaign season is over and we’ve weathered the fall pledge drives, but still, the landline rings.  Lately, we’ve received a battery of calls from this phone number: 718-872-7180.  The caller ID tells us that some unknown entity “G R O U P” has decided to drop a line.  Repeatedly.

In the holiday spirit of charity, I opt for gentle rejection, often allowing the calls to ring through to the answering machine.  Occasionally, I will pick up, be asked if my mother is available, offer to take a message, be told that isn’t necessary, and hang up.  We still don’t know why they call.

[To read more, click link above.]

What Do Shakespeare And Bad Vampire Fiction Have In Common?

What Do Shakespeare And Bad Vampire Fiction Have In Common?.

Okay Upworthy, I see you.  In this video John Green:

  1. Becomes my new internet crush.
  2. Explains (for the last time, guyz!!) why reading – and reading critically – is valuable.  (Hint: pluralism.)
  3. Decries authorial intent as the useless concept it is.
  4. Gives a succinct description of the differences between spoken and written language, once again making the case for grammar.

Not necessarily in that order.  Enjoy!